People are always asking me what I want to be when I grow up.
They're asking me if I want to 'make it big' someday.
What about being a singer/songwriter?
When is your CD coming out?
Why haven't you been discovered?
And all these voices are simply drowning out the only voice that is REALLY important for me to hear right now.
I've been told a a lot of different things by a lot of different people.
And they all want an answer to the same question.
The only answer I have to give is simply, That's not up to me.
If I told you that I didn't have dreams, it would be a lie. I have many dreams. In fact, at the beginning of this year I wrote down a list of 'Expectations for 2008' which is currently taped up onto my wall beside my bed so that I don't forget. They are not resolutions, and its not a "To-do-list". It's a prayer. And these aspirations aren't simply things that I want to accomplish. They are things that have been birthed in my spirit. They are big, scary, and some of them are, in my mind, close to impossible. They are dreams that God has placed in my heart; dreams that he has nurtured. And Him and I talk about them; often.
Today is May 1, and we are just over 4 months into the year, and already I can see some of those dreams coming to pass. God has placed certain people into my life, and given me certain opportunities to make those dreams come true. There's something about writing them down on a peace of paper.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have no idea what God has in store for me.
But who's to say that I'm not discovered? Who's to say that I'm not found? I know the greatest love of all has been given to me.
And even when the voice of the deceiver tries to convince me that this is it. God doesn't have anything more for me. There is something down in the most intimate places of my spirit, a place that only God and I know that tells me, Kirstyn, I have great plans for you. And I hold onto that promise with all I am.
Let me just say this,
My primary goal is not to have a record deal, or to sing on a stage in front of millions of people. Because if that was the first thing on my list then it would be about me. And it's not. This gift is for Him.
The first thing on my list is to be used by the One that I love.
To influence the people around me.
To spread the spirit around.
To show His love in a way that only music can.
To be anointed.
To sing because my soul needs to.
And if that means I sing in front of millions of people or 'make it big' someday it'll be because He came first in my life.
And as I wrote on that list of expectations at the beginning of the year.
I am not afraid to dream big.
Especially when He's on my side.