Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Unconstructive Critisism

Most awkward day ever?
I think yes.
All I know is that criticism that isn't constructive sucks butt.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Question everything?

Is there such a thing as spending too much time at church?
Ahhh.. did Kirstyn just say that? Blasphemous!
But seriously, I'm wondering.
I love church.
I love going.
But we might as well question everything we do.
Because if we don't even know what the purpose is...
then what's the point?

This is not a bash against church. Church is awesome. It's a beautiful thing that brings community together and helps people grow and learn.
But I'm just kind of wondering.
What happens when it starts to seem stale, which it will.
What happens when we've heard this message before.
When we've learned this "preach" already.
Does it need to have further application to our lives?
I'd think definitely.

"All these voices drowning out the only one I want to hear."
By: Kirstyn Krause

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Thought trail...

I honestly feel like just rambling right now. I don't know if I have anything particularly exciting to say or not. But let's just see where this takes me.

I got a lower mark than I've ever gotten on an exam this past week. A mark that doesn't count toward my top six AT all, and I got more upset about it than I wanted to.
My parents say that I'm setting my standards too high, and they're right.
I've spent the whole day home alone today. My parents are off at a wedding, my brother is in Hong Kong, and therefore I'm here by myself.
It's good to be alone sometimes.
It thunderstormed for the first time in a while today. Thunderstorms are exciting when you share them with family or friends, yet kind of intimidating when they sneak up on you when you're home alone. A trampoline in my neighbour's backyard across the street got picked up by the wind and thrown over the fence. It landed on top of a small maple tree. Needless to say, that maple tree is probably dead now. Shame.
You know what's not fair? The fact that we never fall for the friend who's always there for you, but for the friend you leaves you hanging all the time, and never really liked you that much anyway. It's completely backwards.
I feel more than ever that my entire life is lying right in front of me. That my dreams are within arms reach.
What happens in two months when I graduate? What happens to my friends as they move on with their own lives? Yea, sure I feel like getting out of high school, doesn't mean I won't miss a few things that I leave behind.
Maybe I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone. Actually, I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone. Have a little dash of reality. Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a dream.
... alright. That's enough.

I pulled out the ole' bike today and took it for a spin.
The weather is beautiful.

I also spent like ... well let's just say... too long working on my outline for my English ISU.
OOOhh I also bought my first pair of high heels yesterday... for the big event coming up in June. Yay!


Thursday, April 23, 2009

That will be me next year.
Done school in late April.
Ready for the summer...the summer job I suppose.

But for now, these next four weeks, right up until Prom are going to be some of the busiest I've ever had I think.
And I realized that when I look at all the of the events together as a whole month of stuff to do, it's daunting.
But if I take one day at a time and trust God to provide me with strength, endurance, and ability to do what I need to do for that specific day, it really doesn't seem all that scary.
Perspective is everything.
Trust is everything.

It's easiest to trust God when things are going great in your life, and nearly impossible when they aren't. This is something I am working on.

On another note,

I'm writing again. Writing music, writing melodies, writing lyrics.
I'm writing a song.
It feels good.
To have time to focus on new music rather than the songs I had to prepare for the concert (as epic as the concert was).

Monday, April 20, 2009

I've decided...

That I want to be one of those people that is there for others.
There's nothing better than feeling supported.
I want to be someone of my word.
A person of character and integrity.
That makes time for other people.

Having people "be there for you through thick and thin" is one of the best feelings in the world.
I want to pass that feeling on.


Saturday, April 18, 2009

Just thinking...

I think we all have to come to a point where we realize that we're not the most important person in the world.
Because, I think subconsciously we all believe that we are.
And the most important thing in the world for me could be nothing in your perspective.

But, having said that, I don't think that that should make us do things with any less passion or vigor.
I still have a purpose. I still have a reason for being here.
I guess we just have to realize that everyone has a purpose and a reason for being here, and they're all different.
Which makes it difficult for other people to get stoked about your purpose I guess...
...or maybe not.
Unless they love you to bits.
Then sometimes they're more stoked than you are, because they have an outside view..



Friday, April 17, 2009


I think I'm finally entering into the 'nervous/excited' stage.
Debut concert is tomorrow night.
And I still can't really wrap my mind around it.
But everything is ready, or will be by this evening.
CD's have arrived.
Opening act is ready.
Outfit picked out.
Band is ready.
Stage is being set up.
...the list goes on and on....
It's all very surreal, yet exciting all at the same time.

well.. the butterflies are coming.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I feel noticed again.

Thank you for your beautiful love.
Thank you for your sacrifice.
Thank you for this freedom.
I feel alive.
I am in love with you Jesus.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

You know when you hear a song that makes you stop and just listen to it?
You actually can't multi-task when you're listening to it?
I've found one right now.
Shadowfeet by Brooke Fraser.
I think I'm falling in love with her music.
It's so good.

On another note,
I'm ready for this weekend.
I'm ready to meet with you again.
Let your beautiful love seep through every part of my being.
Speak to me again.
Wrap me up in your Holy Spirit.

Friday, April 03, 2009

18. Not quite. Almost.

It's late.
It says 11:20 pm on my computer clock.
That's late for me.
But I'm listening to Catherine Feeny.
She sweetly sings her folk music and I just don't want to turn it off.
I don't want to get up and get ready for bed.
I spent so much time doing things I don't necessarily want to do today that I'm trying to just do nothing right now. If that makes any sense at all.

I'm going to be 18 in two days.
April 5th has a certain ring to it I think.
When my birthday approaches every year, my mom has a special way of getting me excited.
She teases me by saying "Someone's going to have a good birthday!"
I like it.
It's just one of those things that makes every birthday special.
Because isn't the build-up to something generally more epic than the thing itself.
Anyways, my whole fam is going downtown on Sunday to eat at a fancy restaurant and enjoy the town. It's my day.

I want to loosen up a bit.
Let love come and go as it wishes.
I'm almost 18.
My heart is still hidden. It's still being guarded. It's still cherished
But maybe I'll stick my hand out of the moving car and let it ride the wind.
Yea. That sounds good.


Wednesday, April 01, 2009


I feel a genuine tug toward the prophetic and developing that spiritual gifting. We talked about it at cell last night, and even did a bit of practicing. There is something incredibly captivating about encouraging other people by hearing what God wants to say to them.