Sunday, January 23, 2011

Times are a'changing. And it's just taking me a while to get used to it.

Looking at this sentence a few days after writing it made me realize something new.
It's not so much that I don't like change. I think it's more the fact that sometimes it feels as though I'm being left behind while those that are close to me do. (Even when they're changing in positive ways)

Maybe I'd rather it that I change right along with them, or that neither of us change.

But that's not really the way life works.
Like I said, it just takes some readjustment, and getting used to.

Just some thoughts.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Things I'd like to do with you

Skating on a clear night

Walk the boardwalk down in the beaches on a cool august afternoon

Eat at a ridiculously fancy restaurant

Eat hamburgers at a fast-food diner

Go to a bookstore and peruse the books we would never buy

Rent and watch the movie you feel like watching

Stargaze, counting the number of shooting stars we see

Spend hours talking in an eclectic coffee shop

Exchange Christmas gifts

Go to the zoo


Sunday, January 16, 2011

Habakkuk 2:3

You seem slow in coming, but I will wait for you.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I know where I want to do my PhD.

Now I just gotta wait 2 and a half years to apply. At least you can say I don't like to procrastinate.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Everlasting search for a bible study

The idea of being part of a bible study group (sometimes called a cell group, sometimes called a discipleship group (DG) has always been an attractive idea to me. I really do like the idea of meeting once a week with a group of young women that I trust and get along with to study the word of God, to encourage one another in our faith, and to share different aspects of our week.

Over the years I've joined different bible study groups, and for several different reasons they've never ended up sticking or working out.

  • One time the cell group ended up moving downtown - too far away to get a ride
  • Another time the bible study group leader moved out of town and couldn't continue it
  • A third time it was an incredibly long commute to get to the meeting (where I ended up spending more time in transit then I did with the girls that I just ended up not going back.)
For some a bible study is a weekly staple. It's a number one priority. They make room for it. They juggle their schedule around, travel far, and will do anything to join one and be part of one.
I've never really been on the same page as those people. Although I feel that it would be beneficial for me to be a part of one, the idea of traveling far, juggling my time, and doing whatever I can to join one ends up being more of a stress more than a blessing.

And isn't that what the meeting is supposed to be? A blessing. Not only to me, but also allowing me to encourage and be a blessing to others in the group as we grow in our faith together?

I'm not against the idea at all. In fact, I'd still like to find one. However, I have 3 criteria:
  • Proximity: It's gotta be close to where I'm living. I'm not traveling an hour there and an hour back to meet for 45 min to an hour. 
  • Convenience: It's gotta be at the right time. Ideally it would fit into my schedule. So, after class sometime would be great. Coming to school on my day off - not so great. 
  • Trust: I'd really like to find a bible study that is led by someone I know well, I trust, and I look up to. Someone who's got similar goals than I do, that can encourage me in the plan that God has for me.
Those are the things I'm looking for. If I can find that, you can probably be sure that I'd sign up.
This may be a bit candid. But I just thought I'd share my point of view. So that you all know: I don't keep saying no because I don't want to. I keep saying no because the only options I've seen so far don't really seem like options to me.

Friday, January 07, 2011


Walking from Glendon campus to the bus stop one evening near the end of last semester, a realization hit me. I'm really happy with my program, and with my choice to be at Glendon. I felt a sense of purpose and direction that evening as the sun set, casting its beams of light through the bare trees.

I've been really impressed, as of yet, with the undergrad psychology program offered at Glendon. While toughing it through my introductory stats and experimental psychology courses last semseter (the two manditory courses often dreaded by second year psychology undergrads), I recognized just how useful the information I was learning would be to my future path in the psychological field. I mean, everything has to do with stats and experiments in psych! And they weren't as bad as I expected them to be. In fact, my profs were great, the TA was amazing, and although I got frustrated with boring lectures and a pile of work, I felt that the psych department really knows what they were doing when they made us take these courses

Retrospectively, it's been an interesting journey so far. When I applied to Glendon I envisioned doing a double major in Psychology and Études Françaises. My goal was to get my undergrad psych degree and to follow that up with a masters degree in counseling. I had absolutely no interest in doing a 4th year thesis, and was against the idea of ever getting a doctorate. Over the span of a year and a half, my french major has turned into a minor, and finally gotten written off my degree completely as I changed my degree to a specialized honours in psychology (which doesn't allow me to do a minor on the side).

I really began to consider psychology and the possibility of pursuing it further than just a MA after a young psychologist (with a PhD to boot) came into my Intro to Psychology course and explained the ups and downs of her academic journey. She's now working at a hospital, specializing in eating disorders. And suddenly I realized that maybe I was selling myself short. Maybe, I was also capable of going all the way. Why limit myself to a BA undergrad, and a masters in counseling?

Even though I'm no longer doing a minor in Études Françaises, I'm still taking french courses. I would say that my passion for the language has continued to grow. There's something invigorating about continuing to pursue french even when it won't show up on my University Degree. And Glendon really does provide me with some great opportunities to pursue this passion. I handed in my International Exchange Application this past week and will hopefully be in France next January. The french profs can be a little bit... eccentric at times. But I've learned that It's really not about them. It's about what I put into learning French. I get only as much as I put in. So I take their idiosyncrasies with a grain of salt and a sense of humor and keep plugging away.

I don't know what my academic future holds for me as of yet. I don't know if I'll end up getting my PhD. I don't know how French will figure itself into the grand scheme of things. All I know is that there's a sense of God-given purpose in what I'm doing right now.

I'm glad I chose Glendon. I like its small high-school like buildings, where I can get to know my profs, and recognize the people I see in the hall. The campus continues to sparkle with beauty, and I still find myself gaping at the intricacies of the old Manoir at the back of the property. I love sitting myself at a desk in the library, enjoying quiet of the afternoon. I look out the window onto the rose garden (now covered with snow) and take in the smell of the ancient books that line the shelves around me. I like being able to be a part of events, classes, and clubs at Keele when I want to be. (It's not so bad in moderation). - And I'm as busy as ever. Sometimes it gets to be too much. But at least there's a sense of purpose. And that puts a skip in my stride, even after the hardest days.