Yea. I don't know.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.
But is it just an illusion of heightened fondness?
Because sometimes it's easier during the moments before you find out what the real picture looks like.
Like right before you find out if you got a part in the school play. Or the moment before you find out if you aced the midterm or not.
Or I guess before you find out if he has an inkling of fondness towards you as well.
Maybe not knowing is better.
Maybe the illusion of fondness is better than the crashing reality of lack there of.
Maybe imagining having the lead, or acing the test is better than actually knowing.
Am I convincing you?
Yea didn't think so.
Haven't convinced myself either.
In then end, you still just want to know.
K
Friday, December 04, 2009
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
It's December
I woke up this morning with very much reluctance, forcing my eyes to stay open trying realize that the dream world I just left is, in fact, not part of reality.
I went about my normal routine, took a long hot shower, and afterward made my way down to the empty kitchen to make myself some breakfast.
My mother put some Christmas lights up on our deck this past week, and seeing that I get up at an hour where the world is still dark outside, I flicked on the switch, and turned on the glorious lights.
Only when I turned on these lights did I realize that it was snowing. And not only that, but it was snowing my favourite kind of snow. Big clumps of snowflakes falling slowly to the ground.
I stopped by the door that goes out to the walk-out deck in my backyard and just watched it fall for a few minutes.
Needless to say, it made me feel just a little less sleepy, and might have put a tiny grin on my face.
K
Christmas season is here. There's no doubt about it.
I went about my normal routine, took a long hot shower, and afterward made my way down to the empty kitchen to make myself some breakfast.
My mother put some Christmas lights up on our deck this past week, and seeing that I get up at an hour where the world is still dark outside, I flicked on the switch, and turned on the glorious lights.
Only when I turned on these lights did I realize that it was snowing. And not only that, but it was snowing my favourite kind of snow. Big clumps of snowflakes falling slowly to the ground.
I stopped by the door that goes out to the walk-out deck in my backyard and just watched it fall for a few minutes.
Needless to say, it made me feel just a little less sleepy, and might have put a tiny grin on my face.
K
Christmas season is here. There's no doubt about it.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Don't worry,
Lately my posts have been kind of down.
But I just thought I'd let y'all know that I'm doing well.
I've got some cool things going for me.
Life is exciting.
Sometimes everyone needs a crying day though.
K
But I just thought I'd let y'all know that I'm doing well.
I've got some cool things going for me.
Life is exciting.
Sometimes everyone needs a crying day though.
K
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Hello? Anyone there?
I'm starting back at square one.
Like a timid freshman back in high school.
It took me two years in high school to find some really great friends.
And I'm thinking, is it gonna take that long again?
I really miss my friends.
Sometimes I feel like I just don't fit in at all.
K
Like a timid freshman back in high school.
It took me two years in high school to find some really great friends.
And I'm thinking, is it gonna take that long again?
I really miss my friends.
Sometimes I feel like I just don't fit in at all.
K
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Wierdest craziest weekend ever!
Yea pretty much.
So Thursday morning I go to work, bright and early, to watch people swim lengths in the pool. I am a lifeguard for any of you that didn't know.
It's generally pretty dull on Thursday mornings. Two people on the shift, half an hour on, half an hour off. However, this Thursday It changed up a bit.
A man, probably in his mid thirties, came onto the pool deck around 11:30am carrying with him socks, and what looked like a homemade snowboard in his hands. He proceeded to enter the water with his contraption. He then donned the socks, slipped his feet into these two hinged foot thingies on the wooden plank, secured the buckles (or whatever it was that kept his feet attached to this board) and proceeded to swim/dolphin kick his feet to the deepend. Now this wasn't just any snowboard - Between the foot contraption and the board was a hinge that allowed him, after kicking his feet just so, to propel himself through the water. He would go pretty deep under the water (now my pool is 12 feet deep, so there's quite a ways to go) and kick his way from one end of the pool to the other in a matter of seconds, swimming under the other patrons as he did so.
(My supervisor was asked to make sure this behaviour in a public pool was ok, she didn't seem to have a problem with it)
Right before my break, I asked him what exactly he was using. With a thick accent he responded, telling me that it was a new technology - the only one of it's kind, and that he was just testing it out.
Later on in the shift, after he had finished using his waterboard, he swam lengths of the pool completely under water. He would slowly swim to one end of the pool and back without taking a breath. I began to believe that he was a fish.
He notified me a little bit later that he would be going to the bottom of the pool to hold his breath for about twenty seconds and that I should not be concerned. He would be ok. He took one of those 10 pound bricks they use for endurance in lifeguard training courses, and made his way to the bottom of the 12 feet deep pool, and proceeded to lie on his back on the bottom with the brick on his chest. Every few seconds he would let out a bubble that would form into a perfectly round ring of air that would rise to the surface all the while staying in its ring, and all the while getting bigger. Picture a smoker blowing smoke rings - it was exactly the same thing.
Right before I was about to finish my last shift, he asked me, again in his strong accent, if I played any sports - he must have assumed that I do because he went on to inform me that my legs were very strong. (Probably a cultural thing) Now feeling very awkward, I said thank you, and to my relief a few minutes later left a few minutes later.
Yea. Weirdest shift ever.
If you're expecting me to shout "just kidding" or "NOT!" or "April Fool's" anytime soon, I wouldn't hold your breath, because this story is no word of a lie.
There you have it. I get paid to watch weird people swim in pools.
K
So Thursday morning I go to work, bright and early, to watch people swim lengths in the pool. I am a lifeguard for any of you that didn't know.
It's generally pretty dull on Thursday mornings. Two people on the shift, half an hour on, half an hour off. However, this Thursday It changed up a bit.
A man, probably in his mid thirties, came onto the pool deck around 11:30am carrying with him socks, and what looked like a homemade snowboard in his hands. He proceeded to enter the water with his contraption. He then donned the socks, slipped his feet into these two hinged foot thingies on the wooden plank, secured the buckles (or whatever it was that kept his feet attached to this board) and proceeded to swim/dolphin kick his feet to the deepend. Now this wasn't just any snowboard - Between the foot contraption and the board was a hinge that allowed him, after kicking his feet just so, to propel himself through the water. He would go pretty deep under the water (now my pool is 12 feet deep, so there's quite a ways to go) and kick his way from one end of the pool to the other in a matter of seconds, swimming under the other patrons as he did so.
(My supervisor was asked to make sure this behaviour in a public pool was ok, she didn't seem to have a problem with it)
Right before my break, I asked him what exactly he was using. With a thick accent he responded, telling me that it was a new technology - the only one of it's kind, and that he was just testing it out.
Later on in the shift, after he had finished using his waterboard, he swam lengths of the pool completely under water. He would slowly swim to one end of the pool and back without taking a breath. I began to believe that he was a fish.
He notified me a little bit later that he would be going to the bottom of the pool to hold his breath for about twenty seconds and that I should not be concerned. He would be ok. He took one of those 10 pound bricks they use for endurance in lifeguard training courses, and made his way to the bottom of the 12 feet deep pool, and proceeded to lie on his back on the bottom with the brick on his chest. Every few seconds he would let out a bubble that would form into a perfectly round ring of air that would rise to the surface all the while staying in its ring, and all the while getting bigger. Picture a smoker blowing smoke rings - it was exactly the same thing.
Right before I was about to finish my last shift, he asked me, again in his strong accent, if I played any sports - he must have assumed that I do because he went on to inform me that my legs were very strong. (Probably a cultural thing) Now feeling very awkward, I said thank you, and to my relief a few minutes later left a few minutes later.
Yea. Weirdest shift ever.
If you're expecting me to shout "just kidding" or "NOT!" or "April Fool's" anytime soon, I wouldn't hold your breath, because this story is no word of a lie.
There you have it. I get paid to watch weird people swim in pools.
K
Sunday, November 15, 2009
What do you do when you have no control over the outcome of something happening in your life.
But you want to have control over it?
It's hard to swallow when you realize that there's absolutely nothing you can do... but wait.
And even then they're aren't any guarantees it'll turn out the way you want.
Being someone who likes to get things done yesterday, and who likes to have things organized and planned out just so, and who likes to know what's happening, and down which path things are going, I must say that I feel very helpless.
This is all so new to me. Not sure how I'm liking it
K
But you want to have control over it?
It's hard to swallow when you realize that there's absolutely nothing you can do... but wait.
And even then they're aren't any guarantees it'll turn out the way you want.
Being someone who likes to get things done yesterday, and who likes to have things organized and planned out just so, and who likes to know what's happening, and down which path things are going, I must say that I feel very helpless.
This is all so new to me. Not sure how I'm liking it
K
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