Flying = Freedom = Real

Standing at the top of a castle
Learning a new language
Painting your nails black
Watching the waves on a beach at sundown
Dancing even when you know you can't
Learning how to drive
Meeting new friends
Crying
Doodling
Saying Goodbye

These things all have something in common for me.

Truth

What is truth? I've figured out that you can know the meaning of truth without actually even knowing any real truth. There comes a time in everyone's life where they need to figure out what they believe. Not what their parents believe, not what they've been taught to believe, but what is real and true for them. I'm at that point in my life right now.

I'm not into fake. I'm not into make believe. I'm into real. I'm into truth. I'm into life. Sometimes life is always about hype. It's about getting our next high. Whether that be a high on Jesus, or on some other worldly thing, is not really the point. The point is that hype doesn't last. It feels good, but not for long.

I realized that I can't base my relationship with Christ on hype. Because although I know its real, and I know its true, I also know its hard to make it last. We go through life on spiritual highs and spiritual lows. And when we get to a low point in our lives its very hard to hold onto the hype that we had after a convention, or a conference, or some other youth event. But instead if we have real truth. The truth that comes from God, that comes from what you've experienced to be real through him, then with that truth you can get through anything.

There's so much crap in this world that everyone just automatically takes as real and as true, and I'm so tired of it because it doesn't help me, it doesn't make me feel satisfied. That's why I'm on a quest for truth. I figure I'll be on this quest for some time now, and it might not ever end. But when I know that there is real truth out there, and when I've experienced God I know that slowly I'll be able to find it.

I'm done settling for something that's not real.
K

How do you describe it when you miss someone?
For me I'd describe it as a hole right in my heart. I want to fill it with that person or people that I miss, but all I have are memories. The better the memories, the harder it is.
I never knew what truly missing someone meant until this summer. Until I went to Germany.
You know what I heard today? I heard someone say that saying goodbye is hard because it makes the situation real. No longer is it just some distant thing that will eventually come, but its present. It's now. And all there is to do is accept that fact. To say goodbye.

But if there wasn't a Goodbye, there would never be a Hello either. If there weren't Hellos and Goodbyes would life even be life? I don't think so.

I'm doing alright. Life.

Prayer

Nothing can compare to the way I feel in your presence.
Nothing is better than who you are and what you've done in my life.
I want to lift up my head and look straight into your eyes.
I want to reach out my arms and let you carry me.
I need to be renewed.
I need to hear your voice.
I need you to love me, I need you to be active and present in my life.
Help me. Help me to leave everything in your hands. Help me not to worry about tomorrow, knowing that your plan is better than mine.
Take me away. Take me away with you.
Holy, Holy, Holy.
Worthy to be praised.
Who was and Is, and Is to come.
I love you.

O How Wonderful

You love me
I love you
You love me, God

Getting back into the hang of things

I'm sorry for not writing for a few days. I'm still getting used to being in Canada again. I guess now that I'm back here I don't have as much to write about anymore. It's not like its as exciting as being in Europe. But I truly hope that my family, and the others of you that have been reading my blog will still check this site out every once in a while.

Life is a lot easier now that I can understand everything around me. I guess I didn't realize how hard I had been working to understand German until I came home and realized that I can speak without thinking about it first haha

However, I've been using my German/English dictionary these past few days. In other words, I've still been learning a lot. I plan on keeping it up, and I hope I'll be able too. I just need someone to keep me accountable. I think that won't be that hard though because I'm emailing my cousins in Germany.... In German. Hehe cool. And they respond in English so it's practice for all of us.

I'll be at Family Camp next week, all week. I'm pretty excited.

So yea, There's really not much more to tell. My adventures for now are at a minimum, they'll kick into over-drive again sometime soon. I'm sure of it.

Kirstyn

Goodbye

So, it's here, my last night in Deutschland. I had an amazing last weekend. My cousins Björn and Dennis came over and stayed for the weekend and we had so much fun. We went to Switzerland on Saturday and saw some mountains (but the weather was bad, so we didn't get to see that much.) but it was still fun. I ate Cheese fondue for the first time. Then this morning I made pancakes, and we had an American breakfast haha. It was a hit. We did some more sight-seeing today and just talked and enjoyed eachother's company.

I've learned a lot about myself this past month. I can't really place my finger on everything yet, because I'm still trying to figure out just how significant my time here has been. But even without knowing what in me has changed, I know something has. I hope you understand what I mean.

I've definately seen another side of me, a side that can handle a lot more than I ever thought I could. A side that sees that I am beautifully and wonderfully made in God's image. A side that loves adventure, trying new things, stepping out of my comfort zone. A side of me that realizes that things change, views change, feelings change. A side of me that knows that I can't go anywhere in this world where God won't follow me, protect me, hear me, and love me.

So, I had to say Goodbye again tonight to my cousins, and it was really hard. I won't lie. But, Goodbyes are part of life, they just happen. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot make time stop, nor should I want it to. Instead I should take each day for what it is. I should enjoy it to the best of my ability. And when it comes to an end, instead of being sad about saying goodbye, I should be ecstatic because I made another adventure, another experience, another memory.

So for the last time, ich bin die Kirstyn in Deutschland.

Ciao