How is it possible that I've already reached the last month of classes in my first year at University.
My last exam is scheduled for the 7th of April, and after that I'll be free from the endless clutter of textbooks and binders that take up space on my work desk, much to the relief of my mother which promises she will kick me out of this room (in that I'll-love-you-forever way) if I don't clean up.
What have I learned this year?
Autonomy - I'm just another student trying to make my way. Trying to get a degree. Trying to pursue my "dream". It's a whole lot harder to make friends and keep them. No more small Christian high school where everyone knows you and lovingly encourages your passions and talents. In a way, I enjoy this feeling of being autonomous. I can start fresh. On the other hand, starting fresh can be lonely.
Capability - I can still get the grades. I still work my butt off, but my overall average didn't drop the 20% that most people told me it would.
When I visited my high school about a month ago and talked to my old english prof, he asked me if my current university and program was everything I ever dreamed it would be and more.
I replied ... "Nothings is ever everything we dream it to be. But I'm still enjoying myself."
And that was an honest statement. However, that doesn't mean that sometimes I wish I could just shove the books aside and stop studying. That doesn't mean that I don't miss my old friends, and wish for the comfortable little box that high school provided me with.
That doesn't mean that I don't struggle to figure out what God's doing in my life, and through my life.
I enjoy my classes. My campus is beautiful. I've met some really interesting people. I have a great scholarship. 3 day weeks are amazing. And I've got some pretty big dreams for the future.
I'm blessed beyond belief.