Tabula Rasa

I was really thinking about my relationship with God last night, and how it relates to every other aspect in my life. It's been pretty rough lately, I'd say just because I'm in a point of transition. Everything in my life feels like it's up in the air. Music, University, Friendships, Relationships, Work, Church, Activites. Everything's changing all at once.

But, I got this crazy picture in my head from God last night. I asked him if we could start over. If, in this changing part of my life, we could start with a blank slate.

And so, I saw myself pushing a heaping unorganized pile of stuff that symbolized my life off of a floor. I cleared off the floor by putting all the stuff on the edges and said "There, let's start with a clean slate, a clean floor, just you and me"
And God said to me,
"That's not how we start with a clean slate. It really won't accomplish anything if you sweep everything off to the side. If we're gonna start new and fresh then we need to deal with that stuff."
So, then I got a picture of all of that stuff, representing my life, organized into a tiny little office. The office had bookshelves, and a desk, drawers, and every other thing you could imagine that would help to organize a working space.
And God said to me, "If we're gonna start fresh, you can give me your pile of stuff, and we'll organize it together. One day at a time. And I'll hold onto your dreams, your aspirations, your relationships, your school situation. It's all here in this space. I'll be watching over it."

That was really powerful because I realized then that I had had the impression that starting with a blank slate meant that I needed to get my relationship with God in order before I could start dealing with the mess in my life. And once I had established this working relationship with him, the result would be me being able to figure out where I stand in this transition.

But for God, it's not like that. Not only does he want to start fresh and new, but he wants to help me deal with my stuff at the same time. In fact, starting new MEANS dealing with the stuff. My relationship with God is not separate from the different aspects of my life, but rather an interconnected factor that influences it.

That's cool.

K