Saturday, November 21, 2009

Wierdest craziest weekend ever!

Yea pretty much.

So Thursday morning I go to work, bright and early, to watch people swim lengths in the pool. I am a lifeguard for any of you that didn't know.

It's generally pretty dull on Thursday mornings. Two people on the shift, half an hour on, half an hour off. However, this Thursday It changed up a bit.

A man, probably in his mid thirties, came onto the pool deck around 11:30am carrying with him socks, and what looked like a homemade snowboard in his hands. He proceeded to enter the water with his contraption. He then donned the socks, slipped his feet into these two hinged foot thingies on the wooden plank, secured the buckles (or whatever it was that kept his feet attached to this board) and proceeded to swim/dolphin kick his feet to the deepend. Now this wasn't just any snowboard - Between the foot contraption and the board was a hinge that allowed him, after kicking his feet just so, to propel himself through the water. He would go pretty deep under the water (now my pool is 12 feet deep, so there's quite a ways to go) and kick his way from one end of the pool to the other in a matter of seconds, swimming under the other patrons as he did so.

(My supervisor was asked to make sure this behaviour in a public pool was ok, she didn't seem to have a problem with it)

Right before my break, I asked him what exactly he was using. With a thick accent he responded, telling me that it was a new technology - the only one of it's kind, and that he was just testing it out.

Later on in the shift, after he had finished using his waterboard, he swam lengths of the pool completely under water. He would slowly swim to one end of the pool and back without taking a breath. I began to believe that he was a fish.

He notified me a little bit later that he would be going to the bottom of the pool to hold his breath for about twenty seconds and that I should not be concerned. He would be ok. He took one of those 10 pound bricks they use for endurance in lifeguard training courses, and made his way to the bottom of the 12 feet deep pool, and proceeded to lie on his back on the bottom with the brick on his chest. Every few seconds he would let out a bubble that would form into a perfectly round ring of air that would rise to the surface all the while staying in its ring, and all the while getting bigger. Picture a smoker blowing smoke rings - it was exactly the same thing.

Right before I was about to finish my last shift, he asked me, again in his strong accent, if I played any sports - he must have assumed that I do because he went on to inform me that my legs were very strong. (Probably a cultural thing) Now feeling very awkward, I said thank you, and to my relief a few minutes later left a few minutes later.

Yea. Weirdest shift ever.
If you're expecting me to shout "just kidding" or "NOT!" or "April Fool's" anytime soon, I wouldn't hold your breath, because this story is no word of a lie.

There you have it. I get paid to watch weird people swim in pools.



Ben said...

I wish I got paid o do that

Luke Anthony Sawczak said...

A très amusant read.

"Is new technology. Do not be a-fearing. Your legs, very strong. Very new technology."