What is the difference between actually needing someone, and needing the idea of them?
Is it that we want to hold their hand, spend time with them specifically, be wrapped up in their warm embrace, or do we just want a hand to hold; someone yet no one in particular with which we can feel happy and loved?
Do we get caught up with the idea of love and relationships, and all the implications it brings?
And is it the idea we fall in love with, rather than the person?
Maybe.
But,
Maybe all relationships begin with this idea.
Has anyone ever been like: "I had no idea that we would enter into this relationship before the very second that we officially did."
Don't think so.
Is it a selfish idea? Maybe even a dangerous one?
Are we supposed to shut down that idea, that need and desire to love and be loved and wait for it to ACTUALLY happen?
Again, don't think so.
But is there a fine line between the two? And how to we ride that wave?
Thoughts anybody?
K
3 comments:
It's a very bumpy ride, I know that for sure.
It might all depend on the situation, or on the person/persons needs at the time, but also it could start out like that but them grow into something more real, and meaningful then just a hand to hold.
I'm not sure anyone can every really understand this fully, one, because of how subjective it is, and two, because, would you really want to know how, would you want to know all the in's and out's, how to manipulate it to your will?
I wouldn't
I've personally had a great deal of trouble with this question. The problem I have is distinguishing love of different kinds. It's difficult because it's all a good feeling, and it's almost as bad an idea, I find, to neglect a potentially good relationship--I use the word without the romantic connotation--as to overstep one's boundaries in one without potential. I also think, contrary to the popular belief that it's the death of friendships, that two people being brought closer for any reason is a good thing and they do walk away bettered. Sometimes. Of course my relationship experience is thin.
On the one hand, I've indulged the need for love and given it the name love before, but I don't think that precludes actual love, or its ability to develop, in those situations.
On the other, when explaining my disengagement with Mélis to everyone at camp, I said, "I think most of her appeal came from the fact that she was attracted to me," and there was a wave of nodding and "Oh, yeah," and "I've been there". I guess where attainable romance is substituted for actual love, it's a bad idea.
Finally, good things can come out of bad motives, as the old adage goes. I don't expect people who come out together out of infatuation or "the need for love itself" ALWAYS have unhappy endings. I mean maybe it can be a means to an end.
Just my somewhat rambling thoughts, since you asked.
i think that you're right in that its sometimes hard to tell what you fall in love with: the idea or the person.
sometimes you just have to live and learn (however cliche that sounds)
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