Monday, March 26, 2007

Something worth respect

Have you ever known someone for quite a while without actually really knowing them? I don't know it you'll understand what I'm trying to get at here, but there are certain people in life that you meet but never actually get to know.

For example, You know whether or not they have any siblings, you know what they enjoy doing with their free time, you know what they look like and how they act towards you but you know nothing about them as an individual.

You don't know what their views are on God or life. You don't know what they feel, or dream, or think about. You don't know why they like the activities that they do. You almost feel as if that person is never being "real" with you. Never willing to step out of their comfort zone in fear that they will get hurt, or judged.

I find that "friendships" like this are quite shallow in a way, because you have nothing to go on. You can't respect them for what they believe because you don't know why they believe it. You can't carry on a conversation with this person because you don't know what to talk about.

I know somebody like this, somebody I try very hard to get to know, to figure out, to respect, to understand. But no matter how hard I try I can't ever find anything I can relate with.

But today was different. For the first time I saw this person being real. The facade was gone, the wall they put up was gone, and all that was left was them. And for the first time, I saw something that wasn't fake, wasn't made up, but was real. I got a peek into their life, into who they were, into what they were going through. I could see that for this person it was a very hard thing to do. It was putting themselves on uncharted territory, left alone for people to judge them, to see into something probably very private and personal.

And for the very first time, I felt like maybe I could relate with something about this person. I felt like maybe I was finally getting something that was real. Something worth respect.



Madeleine said...

i found you through kathleen. :)
you have a cool perspective on things. to add to this, i find in my life there have been so many instances when i have never taken the time to get to know someone other than first impressions, and then something happens and they surprise me and i wish i knew them better. i feel ashamed for spending so much time thinking about myself when there are such awesome deep people out there i don't know but could.
seeeee you around!

your secret admirer said...

yeah i've had that kirstyn! and those times that you get to see inside those people... they're so precious and beautiful.

when people go beyond the facade or masquerade... it's so... rewarding to get to know some beyond that. i can't think of the right word.

it's a gift to see someone when they're vulnerable to you. it's called friendship i think.

(kirstyn) said...

hey mandie.. yea I've been reading your blog lately too.. yay for blogger.

yea and first impressions can be so different from actually getting to know somebody..

i'll add you to my links :)

jkoukla said...

i really like that. i think you hit it dead on. i also find myself 'trying' to /actually/ get to know some people, but i find it's something you can't try to do. i guess, like you've experienced today, there has to be something that breaks the ice, then it's a whole lot easier.
nice special k ;)