Kirstyn is fragile

I think sometimes I convince myself that I'm not scared of anything.
And sometimes its almost like I'm faking confidence when inside I'm worrying up a storm.
Let's just say that I am so glad for friends;
Friends to pray with.
A Brother to make things clear in my head again.
Life is fragile sometimes.
People are fragile sometimes.
I'm fragile sometimes.
And sometimes I get SO intimidated.
But I'm working on trusting in God. It's an everyday thing.

Listening to: Warning Sign - Coldplay

A lifetime of music summed up in...31 words

The chimes sounded pretty.

The recorder was a mistake.
The trumpet was loud.
The guitar is a work in progress.
The piano is my baby.
Singing,
well singing is simply involuntary.

A lot can happen in a year.
People can get boyfriends.
People can change.
A lot.
People can grow apart.
And I'm really scared.
That one day.
I'll look back on life and ask,
"Why did we grow apart?"
"We used to be so close."
And then I'll remember.
That that was the year we were 16.
I hate this feeling.
That I might be losing you.
Losing one of the best friends I have.
Love cannot differentiate between Christian and non-Christian.
Be careful.
Love, Kirstyn.

I need that sense of peace again...

Sometimes we just have to tell our minds to shut up
and stop thinking so much.

You won't find me in the lay-by.

This year has been a good year for confidence.
I think the things that I've experienced this year have brought me to a place of finding out who I am.
It's given me a push to do more than I thought I could do; be more than I thought I could be.
And through all this growing I've been supported.
And that support has brought me to a level of self-assurance.

I'm confident in what I believe, while still knowing that I will never be finished learning about God and his love.

I'm confident in my appearance - That has a lot to do with this past summer. I actually wake up in the morning now and feel beautiful. And I think that that is the result of many things: Germany, Camp, Anne Frank. I also see it as a sign that I'm starting to live in the love of God that I believe so strongly in.

I'm confident in my relationships - I've had such great fellowship this year. My friendships have grown. I've met new people and fell in love with them. I've the old friendships and I continue to love seeing how much God is doing in their lives too.

I'm confident in my abilities - I know that my strength comes from Him. And I actually believe that I'm capable of doing what I put my mind to. And even then, not only am I capable of doing it, but I'm capable of doing it well.

And the cool thing is that nobody is going to convince me otherwise.
K

I'm not really the type to get all lovey dovey... but...

I was walking to my locker this morning as I arrived to school. And once again I was stuck behind some really really slow walking people. If you know me at all, you know that I am a fast walker. I know where I want to go, and I'm very direct about it. One of my hugest pet peeves is being stuck behind someone who couldn't possibly be walking slower if they tried.

Anyways, back to the story.
I was walking behind one of the current couples at my school. They were walking so slowly, and all I could think about was getting passed them. It didn't take me very long (it never does) to find somewhere to squeeze through them as they blocked the hallway and continue on towards my locker. An annoyed thought about being slowed down was being entertained in my head at the moment. But that thought was put on hold as another one took its place. Because it dawned on me then.
Of course they're walking slow. They like each other for Pete's sake. They're walking slowly because they have nowhere to be other than beside each other.

Then I thought. I wonder what kinda wonderful guy it will take to slow me down; to make me walk at a snail's place.

Anyways, enough on that. Moving on.

K

A building rather than a people, a body

When we're capable of such pride.
When we have the gall to say
that our reason for not furthering our relationship with Christ
is simply because
we didn't feel like it.
Is simply because
we couldn't find a church that fit our 'needs'.
Is simply because
we didn't like the way they worshiped.

Then we've missed the point.
And we've been doing things wrong this whole time.

Because it's no longer about Jesus.
It's about us.
How we feel.
What we want.

And then we become segregated into different denominations
that are skeptical about each other's beliefs.

And then that stereotypical 'hypocrite' name for Christians
actually has ground to stand on.

Man, are we judgmental.
Man, do we have a lot of self-righteous pride.
Man, are we doing church wrong.

K