Saturday, January 15, 2011
I know where I want to do my PhD.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Everlasting search for a bible study
The idea of being part of a bible study group (sometimes called a cell group, sometimes called a discipleship group (DG) has always been an attractive idea to me. I really do like the idea of meeting once a week with a group of young women that I trust and get along with to study the word of God, to encourage one another in our faith, and to share different aspects of our week.
Over the years I've joined different bible study groups, and for several different reasons they've never ended up sticking or working out.
I've never really been on the same page as those people. Although I feel that it would be beneficial for me to be a part of one, the idea of traveling far, juggling my time, and doing whatever I can to join one ends up being more of a stress more than a blessing.
And isn't that what the meeting is supposed to be? A blessing. Not only to me, but also allowing me to encourage and be a blessing to others in the group as we grow in our faith together?
I'm not against the idea at all. In fact, I'd still like to find one. However, I have 3 criteria:
This may be a bit candid. But I just thought I'd share my point of view. So that you all know: I don't keep saying no because I don't want to. I keep saying no because the only options I've seen so far don't really seem like options to me.
Over the years I've joined different bible study groups, and for several different reasons they've never ended up sticking or working out.
- One time the cell group ended up moving downtown - too far away to get a ride
- Another time the bible study group leader moved out of town and couldn't continue it
- A third time it was an incredibly long commute to get to the meeting (where I ended up spending more time in transit then I did with the girls that I just ended up not going back.)
I've never really been on the same page as those people. Although I feel that it would be beneficial for me to be a part of one, the idea of traveling far, juggling my time, and doing whatever I can to join one ends up being more of a stress more than a blessing.
And isn't that what the meeting is supposed to be? A blessing. Not only to me, but also allowing me to encourage and be a blessing to others in the group as we grow in our faith together?
I'm not against the idea at all. In fact, I'd still like to find one. However, I have 3 criteria:
- Proximity: It's gotta be close to where I'm living. I'm not traveling an hour there and an hour back to meet for 45 min to an hour.
- Convenience: It's gotta be at the right time. Ideally it would fit into my schedule. So, after class sometime would be great. Coming to school on my day off - not so great.
- Trust: I'd really like to find a bible study that is led by someone I know well, I trust, and I look up to. Someone who's got similar goals than I do, that can encourage me in the plan that God has for me.
This may be a bit candid. But I just thought I'd share my point of view. So that you all know: I don't keep saying no because I don't want to. I keep saying no because the only options I've seen so far don't really seem like options to me.
Friday, January 07, 2011
University
Walking from Glendon campus to the bus stop one evening near the end of last semester, a realization hit me. I'm really happy with my program, and with my choice to be at Glendon. I felt a sense of purpose and direction that evening as the sun set, casting its beams of light through the bare trees.
I've been really impressed, as of yet, with the undergrad psychology program offered at Glendon. While toughing it through my introductory stats and experimental psychology courses last semseter (the two manditory courses often dreaded by second year psychology undergrads), I recognized just how useful the information I was learning would be to my future path in the psychological field. I mean, everything has to do with stats and experiments in psych! And they weren't as bad as I expected them to be. In fact, my profs were great, the TA was amazing, and although I got frustrated with boring lectures and a pile of work, I felt that the psych department really knows what they were doing when they made us take these courses
Retrospectively, it's been an interesting journey so far. When I applied to Glendon I envisioned doing a double major in Psychology and Études Françaises. My goal was to get my undergrad psych degree and to follow that up with a masters degree in counseling. I had absolutely no interest in doing a 4th year thesis, and was against the idea of ever getting a doctorate. Over the span of a year and a half, my french major has turned into a minor, and finally gotten written off my degree completely as I changed my degree to a specialized honours in psychology (which doesn't allow me to do a minor on the side).
I really began to consider psychology and the possibility of pursuing it further than just a MA after a young psychologist (with a PhD to boot) came into my Intro to Psychology course and explained the ups and downs of her academic journey. She's now working at a hospital, specializing in eating disorders. And suddenly I realized that maybe I was selling myself short. Maybe, I was also capable of going all the way. Why limit myself to a BA undergrad, and a masters in counseling?
Even though I'm no longer doing a minor in Études Françaises, I'm still taking french courses. I would say that my passion for the language has continued to grow. There's something invigorating about continuing to pursue french even when it won't show up on my University Degree. And Glendon really does provide me with some great opportunities to pursue this passion. I handed in my International Exchange Application this past week and will hopefully be in France next January. The french profs can be a little bit... eccentric at times. But I've learned that It's really not about them. It's about what I put into learning French. I get only as much as I put in. So I take their idiosyncrasies with a grain of salt and a sense of humor and keep plugging away.
I don't know what my academic future holds for me as of yet. I don't know if I'll end up getting my PhD. I don't know how French will figure itself into the grand scheme of things. All I know is that there's a sense of God-given purpose in what I'm doing right now.
I'm glad I chose Glendon. I like its small high-school like buildings, where I can get to know my profs, and recognize the people I see in the hall. The campus continues to sparkle with beauty, and I still find myself gaping at the intricacies of the old Manoir at the back of the property. I love sitting myself at a desk in the library, enjoying quiet of the afternoon. I look out the window onto the rose garden (now covered with snow) and take in the smell of the ancient books that line the shelves around me. I like being able to be a part of events, classes, and clubs at Keele when I want to be. (It's not so bad in moderation). - And I'm as busy as ever. Sometimes it gets to be too much. But at least there's a sense of purpose. And that puts a skip in my stride, even after the hardest days.
K
I've been really impressed, as of yet, with the undergrad psychology program offered at Glendon. While toughing it through my introductory stats and experimental psychology courses last semseter (the two manditory courses often dreaded by second year psychology undergrads), I recognized just how useful the information I was learning would be to my future path in the psychological field. I mean, everything has to do with stats and experiments in psych! And they weren't as bad as I expected them to be. In fact, my profs were great, the TA was amazing, and although I got frustrated with boring lectures and a pile of work, I felt that the psych department really knows what they were doing when they made us take these courses
Retrospectively, it's been an interesting journey so far. When I applied to Glendon I envisioned doing a double major in Psychology and Études Françaises. My goal was to get my undergrad psych degree and to follow that up with a masters degree in counseling. I had absolutely no interest in doing a 4th year thesis, and was against the idea of ever getting a doctorate. Over the span of a year and a half, my french major has turned into a minor, and finally gotten written off my degree completely as I changed my degree to a specialized honours in psychology (which doesn't allow me to do a minor on the side).
I really began to consider psychology and the possibility of pursuing it further than just a MA after a young psychologist (with a PhD to boot) came into my Intro to Psychology course and explained the ups and downs of her academic journey. She's now working at a hospital, specializing in eating disorders. And suddenly I realized that maybe I was selling myself short. Maybe, I was also capable of going all the way. Why limit myself to a BA undergrad, and a masters in counseling?
Even though I'm no longer doing a minor in Études Françaises, I'm still taking french courses. I would say that my passion for the language has continued to grow. There's something invigorating about continuing to pursue french even when it won't show up on my University Degree. And Glendon really does provide me with some great opportunities to pursue this passion. I handed in my International Exchange Application this past week and will hopefully be in France next January. The french profs can be a little bit... eccentric at times. But I've learned that It's really not about them. It's about what I put into learning French. I get only as much as I put in. So I take their idiosyncrasies with a grain of salt and a sense of humor and keep plugging away.
I don't know what my academic future holds for me as of yet. I don't know if I'll end up getting my PhD. I don't know how French will figure itself into the grand scheme of things. All I know is that there's a sense of God-given purpose in what I'm doing right now.
I'm glad I chose Glendon. I like its small high-school like buildings, where I can get to know my profs, and recognize the people I see in the hall. The campus continues to sparkle with beauty, and I still find myself gaping at the intricacies of the old Manoir at the back of the property. I love sitting myself at a desk in the library, enjoying quiet of the afternoon. I look out the window onto the rose garden (now covered with snow) and take in the smell of the ancient books that line the shelves around me. I like being able to be a part of events, classes, and clubs at Keele when I want to be. (It's not so bad in moderation). - And I'm as busy as ever. Sometimes it gets to be too much. But at least there's a sense of purpose. And that puts a skip in my stride, even after the hardest days.
K
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Love in the air? At least for all of you it is.
Life takes on a new perspective when the ones close to you begin dating, having boyfriends/girlfriends, getting married. Friendships inevitably change when a special someone enters the picture.
I guess it just takes me back to those times when us girls sat around the living room laughing, crying, and talking for hours on end about this boy and that guy. At that time, it felt real, right, it was still fresh. But we move on, have new experiences, meet new people.
There was always that excitement for the future (still is), but at the same time there was a warmness that we shared; a camaraderie of the mutual understanding of being single.
We made jokes about being each others bridesmaids - swearing to choose each other as maid of honour.
Several of my close friends have recently entered into romantic relationships. Two of my cousins are getting married this upcoming year. And so should be expected as we all begin to get older. I guess it just sneaks up on you. I feel as though these next few years are gonna fly by all the same, and that sneaking up will probably become a whirlwind.
I have my whole life ahead of me. Love my be in the air for several of those that I love, but it seems a bit more than a hop, skip and a step away from me. How do I know? Just a feeling. Doesn't mean there isn't that anticipation that bubbles up in my heart every so often.
K
I guess it just takes me back to those times when us girls sat around the living room laughing, crying, and talking for hours on end about this boy and that guy. At that time, it felt real, right, it was still fresh. But we move on, have new experiences, meet new people.
There was always that excitement for the future (still is), but at the same time there was a warmness that we shared; a camaraderie of the mutual understanding of being single.
We made jokes about being each others bridesmaids - swearing to choose each other as maid of honour.
Several of my close friends have recently entered into romantic relationships. Two of my cousins are getting married this upcoming year. And so should be expected as we all begin to get older. I guess it just sneaks up on you. I feel as though these next few years are gonna fly by all the same, and that sneaking up will probably become a whirlwind.
I have my whole life ahead of me. Love my be in the air for several of those that I love, but it seems a bit more than a hop, skip and a step away from me. How do I know? Just a feeling. Doesn't mean there isn't that anticipation that bubbles up in my heart every so often.
K
Monday, December 13, 2010
Ready to dream again?
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Phillipians 3
----
There's something about these few verses that strike a cord somewhere in my heart. In the verses before this passage, Paul is speaking about how he has forsaken all other gains so that he can know Christ to the point of understanding his death, his resurrection, and his suffering. He's laid down everything in his life that's important for him, knowing that none of it is as important as what he can find in Christ.
I often find it difficult to understand Paul's unadulterated passionate sacrifice of everything he is to define himself as a follower and apostle of Jesus Christ. His whole life is about furthering the kingdom of God. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be able to be at that spot. But, I'd be lying if I said that I don't hold a lot of other things closer to me than I should; giving them more weighting and importance than they deserve.
I feel that often we feel that abandoning our lives to Christ means giving something up. It means giving up dreams, letting go of a certain relationship that's become comfortable, changing future plans to adopt something daunting and unsure. And we expect that doing that will leave us with less than we started. But, with Jesus it's just the opposite.
"I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me" -
It's that line that gets me everytime. Giving up myself in order to serve Jesus doesn't mean I'm losing something. It means I'm gaining so much more than I ever imagined. Giving up my so-called "perfect plans" because God has taken hold of me, and now I am to take hold of what he has stored away for me. That is adventure. That is exciting.
Even when I find myself in a purpose filled season in my life, it's crazy how those plans and dreams become less about his faithfulness, and will for my life, and so much more about me. I become selfish. It as if, the world revolves around me and what I'm doing at that point in time. Instead of, "I'm studying psychology because I feel that God has called me into that area", it becomes this rat-race of doing whatever I can to pursue that dream, regardless of other people, regardless of other goals. And I focus my attention on psychology (or any other aspiration I have), instead of keeping my gaze focused on Jesus - the One that's supposed to be leading me through the journey.
I should be pressing on - constantly focused on the One that got me this far in the first place, instead of pushing my way through day after day to finish something a goal that's become all about me.
This goes for anything in my life:
Music, songwriting, Psych, French, relationships.
What good are those God-inspired dreams anyways, if God's no longer the one inspiring you to keep going? Nothing.
I think it's in the letting go, that we get to that place. It's the trusting that is the hard part.
But I know in my heart, that what is in in God's heart for me, is what I want more than anything in this world.
K
Just a head's up.
I think I'm gonna start writing again soon. (Here I mean).
I'm just about to come out of the busiest semester of my life. I feel like I haven't stopped since midterms. (Which would explain the lack of posts)
I've finished 4 of my 6 exams. Have one more this afternoon, and one this upcoming Friday. I've handed in two papers, and gone to staff training. (All in the past week). I know. Crazy.
Anyways, be on the lookout. I feel like I'll have a few things to say in the new year (or maybe sooner!)
K
I'm just about to come out of the busiest semester of my life. I feel like I haven't stopped since midterms. (Which would explain the lack of posts)
I've finished 4 of my 6 exams. Have one more this afternoon, and one this upcoming Friday. I've handed in two papers, and gone to staff training. (All in the past week). I know. Crazy.
Anyways, be on the lookout. I feel like I'll have a few things to say in the new year (or maybe sooner!)
K
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Exploring at the Uxbridge Fair
I spent the good part of my afternoon at the Uxbridge fair yesterday. I was actually there to support my good friend in his first ever demolition derby. If you've read my previous post, you will now know that yesterday's derby was my second in the span of two weeks and subsequently my entire life.
Now, you need to know that the Demolition Derby in uxbridge is serious stuff. People show up hours in advance to save spots by attaching their blankets to the benches and bleachers with duct tape. Therefore, wanting good seats, my friends and I showed up several hours early, which gave us some time to spare.
I ended up walking around the fair grounds with my friend Nina and 2 adorable 4 year old twin brothers (the sons of another couple we knew at the fair). And so we explored together, hand in hand. We walked over to the dunk tank and threw some hard balls at that little red dot that, when pushed, gets a shivering man wet all over again. :) We strolled past the carnival rides and Aden explained to me how one of the rides (which looked exactly like a spider) scared him because it went too high. Our adventure continued by staring longingly at the multi-coloured lollipops at the concession stand and poking our noses into the cages at the petting zoo.
The hour or so that we spent together was so enjoyable simply because it helped me see the fair through the eyes of a little child again. To remember what its like to be little. To forget about life for a while and just enjoy the sights and sounds around us.
All pictures taken by my brother Jared, who followed us around in our wonderful adventure. Check out his photos on flickr!
Now, you need to know that the Demolition Derby in uxbridge is serious stuff. People show up hours in advance to save spots by attaching their blankets to the benches and bleachers with duct tape. Therefore, wanting good seats, my friends and I showed up several hours early, which gave us some time to spare.
I ended up walking around the fair grounds with my friend Nina and 2 adorable 4 year old twin brothers (the sons of another couple we knew at the fair). And so we explored together, hand in hand. We walked over to the dunk tank and threw some hard balls at that little red dot that, when pushed, gets a shivering man wet all over again. :) We strolled past the carnival rides and Aden explained to me how one of the rides (which looked exactly like a spider) scared him because it went too high. Our adventure continued by staring longingly at the multi-coloured lollipops at the concession stand and poking our noses into the cages at the petting zoo.
The hour or so that we spent together was so enjoyable simply because it helped me see the fair through the eyes of a little child again. To remember what its like to be little. To forget about life for a while and just enjoy the sights and sounds around us.
All pictures taken by my brother Jared, who followed us around in our wonderful adventure. Check out his photos on flickr!
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